In past years, my aim was to push myself significantly out of comfort zone and into new areas. Sometimes, that meant traveling around the world. Other times, it meant challenging myself to achieve major leaps in my life. And in some extreme cases it sent me into 10-days of silent meditation.
This year was a bit different.
My goals were far simpler yet just as crucial from a life-scale point of view: To rediscover who I am day-to-day and to build sustainable rituals that encourage sustainable growth.
After experiencing many other people and places during extensive travel the last few years, I wanted to reflect on who I had become.I wanted to learn how to become a better partner and supporter to Lisa, my friends, and my family. To that end, my Life in Weeks v31 does not look meaningfully different than last year:
While the overall life scale may look similar, I’m starting a new year with important learnings that I will carry with me each day…
Building a community requires investment but is the closest thing to a guaranteed return on investment.
San Francisco is a constant source of change. People move in and out so much that it is genuinely shocking to find people who have been in the city as long as I have.
This change has some amazing effects. Many startup revolutions, from the internet to social to now Generative AI, as well as social revolutions are led from San Francisco because of the cities’ desire to experiment and try new things.
However, the negative side effect is that I personally have found building a consistent community somewhat tricky. People move away. People are always traveling or busy with work (see above, starting companies). Sometimes, you think you’ve met a friend, and instead they simply want something you have.
This year, I really put a strong emphasis on building a community in and around San Francisco. This started with traveling less and also included putting in the time and effort to reach out to really care for the people around me. It meant saying yes to events, even if that meant logging off work at 5:30 when I usually would have worked longer.
This intentional focus on building community has led me down many fun paths this year. I took two eight-week pottery classes, learned a ton of obscure facts at bar trivia with friends, went to local cake-baking competitions based on galaxies, celebrated birthdays, saw movies, debated late into the night, sailed around the bay, and more.
Don’t travel to travel. Travel because it creates something extraordinary.
Over the past 5 years, I have traveled extensively — 237 flights, more than 342 thousand miles, to more than 20 countries. Over those years, this scratched a massive itch to experience parts of the world I didn’t when growing up.
This year, I was extremely intentional about where and when I traveled. For the first time, I traveled internationally with my parents. A trip more than 2 years in the making, we traveled to Rome for the Ryder Cup Golf Tournament with Sean and his family. This is a moment I’ll remember forever. From eating many new foods on a food tour of a historic neighborhood being revitalized by food to the Vatican to the tournament itself. In fact, this trip was so much fun that my parents have already booked another European vacation for this fall.
Equally spectacular, this year a complete solar eclipse passed directly over my childhood home in Plano, TX, something that won’t happen again in my lifetime (yes, many more will happen in my lifetime, but few over the US and none over my home in Texas). I flew back home to watch it with my parents. Contrary to the popular saying ‘it took my breath away,’ few experiences actually take your breath away. This one did. Anyone who has seen one knows the awe and childlike wonder being in the totality inspires. Experiencing this with my family is something I will cherish for life.
Being a great partner can be challenging but so rewarding.
As much as we want to believe in the fairytale of happy ever after, genuine, lasting relationships take time, effort, and a choice. In a recent podcast episode on long-term relationships, one of the hosts said, “At a certain point, love becomes a choice.” This statement stuck with me throughout the year and framed my intentions well: Choose Lisa and our relationship first.
No one is perfect, but anytime Lisa or I felt off, we intentionally discussed it. These became great opportunities to improve. This process has helped Lisa and I hone our communication in ways we never initially imagined. We now communicate in a unique way that allows us to feel connected, in control, and confident in each other. I’m proud of the partner I have become and what we have built.
I’m excited to see where the future holds. I sense some big news in the coming year!
Constantly seek work that brings you joy.
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do,” is the often recited Steve Jobs quote from his Stanford commencement speech, and this year, I returned to it frequently.
About 6 months ago, I decided to leave Sourcegraph. During my nearly 3 years there, the organization grew from ~60 employees to more than 200, grew revenue by 6x, and signed some of the most recognizable brands in the world. I personally learned a ton during my time there. But, after reflection, I realized that my work was not fulfilling me as it did when I initially joined.
I joined RunwayML in January as the Second PM. Runway is an applied AI research company shaping the next era of art, entertainment, and human creativity. After 3 months, I can confidently say Runway is what I was looking for: A group of extremely passionate people who think big, stay focused and work hard to push forward an industry. If you haven’t yet, check out Runway. I’m curious to hear your thoughts.
Beyond these broad themes, here are 32 moments from past year to celebrate my 32nd birthday…
- Took my first international trip with my parents to the Ryder Cup in Rome.
- Rode a scooter around the cliffs of the Amalfi Coast in Italy.
- Took a 36-hour overnight sleeper train from San Francisco to Denver through the snowy Rocky Mountains.
- Saw a total solar eclipse with nearly 4 minutes in the darkness of totality.
- Planted a Ghost Pepper plant.
- Left a job and started a new job.
- Sailed on the USA 76, an American International America’s Cup Class yacht with a 115-ft main sail.
- Saw the Hoover Dam while traveling to Vegas with my family.
- Got all 4 roommates together for a trip for the first time in about 4 years.
- Taught my nephew to learn how to snowboard during his first ski trip.
- Learned to cook a variety of new meals, including soft-boiled marinated eggs, miso-marinated cod, veggie tacos with fresh masa, and more.
- Celebrated Lisa’s surprise birthday party with friends.
- Went to Christmas mass in a church designed by my great-grandfather.
- Visited the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville.
- Saw a few concerts; Devendra Banhart was the most chill.
- Took two 8-week pottery classes.
- Saw a professional hockey team break a record (the first team in 50 years to give up 10 or more goals in two straight games 💀).
- Saw "Postcard from Earth," an exploratory, immersive new film in the Sphere in Vegas.
- Ran a half-marathon 7 weekends in a row.
- Got more than 50 bug bites on my legs in a single night in Mexico.
- Hiked behind the Hollywood sign & giant ‘South San Francisco’ sign.
- Searched and found an original San Francisco Chronicle article from when the atomic bomb was dropped in 1945 in the SF Public Library.
- Ate at Nobu and recreated my favorite dish (Miso Marinated Black Cod).
- Saw my favorite DJ, Alesso, live in SF.
- Watched a movie in a park in Berlin during the summer.
- Celebrated in the streets of Denver after they won their first NBA championship.
- Went to my first goat yoga class.
- Got LASIK.
- Went camping and almost got caught in LA’s first hurricane in decades.
- Took my first ride in a driverless car!
- Went swimming in ice-cold Donner Lake.
- Saw Battle Bots live, after growing up watching the battles on TV.
After spending time woodworking as a way to get away from the screen, Lisa suggested I take a pottery class. 16 weeks later, dozens of pieces later and I feel like I have the basics down. I really fell in love with bowls that have a mix of natural and glazed surfaces like the one above and ended up making a set of them we use regularly.
Sometime in the past few years, I fell down a rabbit hole watching reviews of overnight sleeper trains on Youtube and never got out. This year, Lisa and I were able to write our own review after taking the train from San Francisco to Denver.
In June 2022, I got a random text from Sean: “Italy for next years Ryder cup with the parents ? 👀”. More than 700 days later, a successful ticket lottery, and the craziest taxi ride i’ve ever been in, we were watching the sunrise over the first tee together with our dads.
The eclipse was unbelievable. I realize everyone says that, but there really are few words that describe how special that moment is. Made even more special by experiencing alongside my dad.
California is full of hidden pockets of beach. We found this special place after hiking around the edge of a cliff that was fast being surrounded by the rising tide.
There are few man-made structures that inspire such awe. The size of this space is hard to capture in photos. Coincidentally, the other moment in recent memory that inspired a similar feeling is the La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona.
Thanks to everyone who made my past year so special. I wouldn’t be who I am without you all. Heres to 33.
Cheers, Ryan