This post is inspired by WaitButWhy’s blog Your Life In Weeks. I strongly recommend reading this piece and more writing from Tim Urban.
Last year I started with ‘What a f***ing year’. The last 365 days have been far worse than most people expected.
The COVID-19 pandemic continues to spread around the world. As of April 30th, wealthy countries such as the US are seeing decreases in cases due to rapid vaccine deployment. Yet other countries around the world, such as India where many of my friends live, are seeing a scary increase in cases (16%+ positivity rate, more than 3,500+ deaths / day). Per one friend, “it is so bad here that everyone has a family member who has been seriously impacted”. Luckily, my family has not been impacted by COVID-19, yet my heart goes out to the millions of people around the world who have lost someone close to them.
Over the past year, racial tensions have become front and center around the world, ignited by the murder of George Floyd in June 2020. Racism is not new but finally the country, and world, are waking up to the significant negative impact racism has on those around us. Growing up white, in the south, I had little exposure to how many privileges my race provided. While I learned about slavery, Jim Crow laws, etc, no part of my education taught me how harmful micro-aggressions are. Or how deep systematic oppression is embedded into every part of our society from education to housing and beyond. Or how racism impacts every race other than white people such as the hate crimes Asian-Americans are facing during COVID. It seems like each and every day another horrifying act of racism is being carried out. We all have more to do.
Onto my personal updates, starting with my updated ‘Life in Weeks’:
Not much has changed on a life scale from last year, with one major exception: I received my COVID-19 vaccine! The rapid development of the vaccine and supply chain to deliver 1b doses in 4 months (Nature) will go down as some of most significant achievements in human history. I’m lucky to live in a time where science is allowed to thrive.
I’m a 9'er now! This is the year, according to research from NYU’s Stern School of Business, because I am 29, I am more likely to make significant life decisions such as run a marathon, commit suicide, or seek an extramarital affair (well, I’d need to be married for this one). Per the study, “adults undertake a search for existential meaning when they approach a new decade in age … or imagine entering a new epoch, which leads them to behave in ways that suggest an ongoing or failed search for meaning”.
I don’t feel any of this. Truthfully. I feel I am entering version 29 of myself as the most centered one yet. I celebrate the big and little moments in life with people I love, while having a healthy family around me.
As with every year on earth, I learned a few lessons which are important to me. Here are a few of the most important ones:
Don’t judge yourself on other people’s happiness
This year I have learned an extremely important lesson — My happiness is not tied to what others think about me. This feels obvious. And feels like something people tell you all the time. But was not something that I was living.
I recently made the toughest career decision I have ever had to make: leaving my role as General Manager of Brilliant Hire. Over the span of 3 weeks, I agonized over this decision to the point where I began losing sleep worried about how my team would react to the decision. More than just a team, they are friends, and I worried they would be angry/disappointed/etc of me. Or that the board of advisors would be angry with me.
In reality, this was all in my head. Once I began telling people, they could not have been more supportive of me, my career, and my decision! This learning goes beyond work and has helped me be happier in every aspect of life.
Family >>>
I found a positive light this year being able to spend extended periods of time back home in Texas with family. In fact, the ~5 months I spent at home in the past year is more than I have since before moving to college in 2010. Check out what that looks like in days below:
In my fast paced life, sometimes I overlook the importance my family has had on me. My mom, dad, and brother are still the most important people in my life and ones who I look for advice regularly. One perk I am excited with my next role is the company operates in a fully remote way, allowing me to spend more time with my family. If you’re near someone in your family, you should go hug them and remind them how important they are to you.
My new goal of financial independence
I have been lucky to make enough money in my line of work to save some each year. Spending so much time in quarantine over the past year has pushed me to formalize my long term views on money and wealth. My big realization — Most financial systems in the US are set up for those who save a little each year (via 401k, RothIRA, etc), so that when you’re old enough to retire at age 65, you can live on what you have saved.
This insight over the past year has driven the formation of a new life goal: Be financially independent by the age of 40. For me, this means having enough saved up such that I do not rely on a weekly paycheck to pay the bills. I know I am a very goal-focused person so keeping this larger goal in mind is important for me to achieve behavior change. Whether I am thinking of buying a pair of shoes, or maybe upgrading to a nicer version of something, I am historically bad at saving money, thus having a larger goal is necessary for me to save.
Ultimately, I believe being financially independent will redefine my relationship with work. Today, I, along with most of the corporate world, have a job to pay mortgage, put food on the table, etc, yet most of those same people also are unhappy with their job. I don’t want to be in this position and believe that working towards financial independence will provide that cushion to avoid this trap.
Being outside recharges me
Most people who know me recognize how much I value getting outside of the city and into nature. The medium almost doesn’t matter to me — backpacking, snowboarding, or biking — I just want to get outside. Over the past year without travel, it has become increasingly important for me to go outside. I’m even more grateful this year to have friends around me to share this space with. I’m excited to continue escaping the craziness of the city over the next year.
Some of my most memorable moments
The slopes will always be my happy place :) I loved exploring Park City this year and expect to be back far more in the coming year!
Hey John — You finally did it! Congrats to both you and Sydney. Seeing your love for each other is truly inspiring. You’re perfect for each other and I can’t wait to see your family grow in years to come.
Northern California was devastated by wildfires this year and the San Francisco sky showed. For weeks, wildfires ranged both north and south of my apartment. One Wednesday in June looked like a scene out of Bladerunner with orange skies like this the entire day. This picture was taken just outside of my apartment.
I bought a bike!! And that bike helped me explore more of the city i’ve fallen in love with. This was taken near the top of Hawk Hill after riding across the Golden Gate Bridge. I’m grateful to live in such a beautiful pace and want to do everything possible to take it in while i’m here.
Lisa, I can’t wait for more adventures in the future :)
While COVID has prevented all travel, I have learned to love the space around me. One way I have done that is starting to golf the beautiful courses around San Francisco! Sean, step up your game.
❤ Grandma, we’ll always miss you.
While cleaning out my Grandma’s house, we found hundreds of incredible pictures like this one from the 1940’s (Grandma is on the left). She volunteered for 40+ years, inspired my love of adventure, and taught me lessons I didn’t realize I needed to learn.
My dad and I started to learn woodworking as a hobby we could safely practice away from people during COVID. This carving is the state of Texas in a cutting board gift to my mom! There is something magical about working with a physical medium of wood after spending more than a decade working in digital mediums.